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Self-Defeating Beliefs

How we think is a deep reflection of what we believe as underlying truth. It shapes the lens through which we see the world, interpret circumstances and weigh options hence make decisions. Your personal values, perceptions, and attitudes make up your belief system.

Self-defeating thoughts are any negative views you hold about yourself and the world around you. Also known as mistaken or faulty beliefs, these views impact your self-esteem, the feelings you carry about your personal abilities, and your relationships with others. Self-defeating beliefs are categorized as either being negative views you have about yourself or beliefs you hold about your relationships with others.

Self-defeating narratives can play on repeat in our minds when we’re stressed out. In challenging times, when we feel overwhelmed and under resourced with the problems we face, we tend to fall back on negative narratives that can feel comfortable but prevent us from focusing on solutions with a clear and stable mind.

Try honestly asking yourself this question:

What narratives do I tend to fall back on when faced with adversity, pressure or uncomfortable situations?”

Thoughts are not facts; they can always be changed. The same holds true for attitudes and behaviours. You have the power to change your narrative at any time. Choose to empower yourself with positive thoughts that will eventually translate into your new narrative. Many of us are held back by narratives we have practiced for years because we have never stopped to analyse them.

You are a product of your thoughts and by taking time to analyse how you think/ respond to situations is the first step in overcoming self-defeating attitudes. Here are examples of some of the most common self-defeating narratives that people replay in their minds and as a result manifest them in how they respond to life circumstances:

  • I can’t …
  • I don’t deserve it
  • I am the least qualified of all these people
  • I don’t have what it takes
  • I am a failure
  • No one will believe me
  • I don’t have the necessary resources ..
  • I am too old for that
  • I am boring
  • I am unattractive

And the list could go on and on. But stop and cross check again, do any of these statements sound familiar to you? If they do, then these could be some of your self-defeating attitudes.

The good news is that you can rewrite your narrative by replacing it with a positive affirmative narrative. Often times defeat begins in the mind before it manifests in our actions. The real battle field is in your mind. Whoever owns your mind, will command your actions. That is why you should watch your thought process and underlying perspectives that you replay in your mind most of the times.

Whoever owns your mind, will command your actions.

To change your self-defeating attitudes, you need to identify them and then turn each one of them into a positive, affirmative statement. Each time the old narrative shows up in your mind, stop and correct yourself by reaffirming the new narrative.

Remember as you think, so are you. Empower yourself to think the right way so you can live the right way. Your mind is the womb that nurtures all your ideas and concepts so you want to be sure that it has the right seeds to work with. When you change your narrative, you not only change your outlook on life but you literally change your life right from your energy levels, looks and ability to attract good things in your life.

Ensure you have the right narrative working for you at all times.

Noeline Kirabo

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